Brian’s reflection of week 2
We had 1 day less this week, and it was monday. In class we got our Riders to the Sea scenes starting to rehearse. Unfortunately, one of our group members was missing. And, unfortunatlely, i was an emotional wreck due to stupid things earlier that week and day which spilled over into the rest of the week. I was probably the worst person to do a Riders to Sea off-book that actually made the teacher cringe. It was mostly attributed to my lack of knowledge of the lines…but whence i get them memorized I will Pwn as usuall. I think that if i try to embrace chekov’s theory of acting and do some characteriation it would be easier for me to step into the character of a young strapping man.
Drama club, i submitted a T-shirt design. It lost.
Moby dick, I wanted to be Queequeg, my favorite character from the book and all parodies. I did a pretty good audition on Tuesday–I actually got applause from people in the house while reading which was….very weird. I danced decently which was an improvement for me too. On Wednesday we had singing as well which at that time i didn’t suck so much. I wasn’t called to read again which had me nervous, but i was fortunate enough to get a call back. At call backs, i sang badly once, danced with the people the director wasn’t considering once, and i didn’t read at all. I figured he was going to give Ashley the part of Queeqeg because of how many times he called her up. I think it was more dissapointing that i wasn’t called to read for ANYTHING else. I really wanted an acting part and there were a ton in this musical so i thought i had a chance–but i forgot, I”M NEVER CAST!! everytime, like an alzheimers patient, i forget how bad it feels when i’m rejected from a part so i stupidly go out for another thing, then i fail and repeat the process over and over agian. It’s not that i can’t take rejection, it’s just that i don’t know how much rejection someone can take. As Brian Boitano, i’m not generally used to this.
So now my only options are tech, tech or more tech. I want a chance to actually design something that i know will be built. Not just a model and a concept to be thrown away once i’m done like with districts. I want one of my concrete ideas to come to life. So i’m praying that Kuiper will let me design–even though the last time i asked him to design he rejected me. I think if he gives me creative freedom i can atually do something impressive. So i sent him a message with the officer minutes asking, but he hasn’t responded yet. Natalie got to design the costumes for Romeo & Juliet, and i really want to show that i can do something impressive too. So maybe Kuiper will trust me with something.
